Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Womanhood In My Late 30's

As I hit my late 30's there have been changes to my body and my mind that I wish I was forewarned about. So in the spirit of full disclosure - I'm making a list for all you young-ens who are approaching my age.

1. Women grow chin hair.
Sad but true - the older you get the more it will appear. My girlfriend calls it her "Fu Man Chu". My mom calls them "Witch Hairs". Whatever you call it, you will find out soon enough that you are growing a few of these thick suckers right on your face. My recommendation - go get a chin wax.

2. Your breasts will begin a race for your knees.
It doesn't matter if you breastfed or not - at some point in most women's lives - boobs are going to sag. They will probably sag at different rates so that the race for your knees is fair. Right now my right one is winning. This really boils down to genetics so if your mom still has perky boobs - you've got a fighting chance.

3. Drinking wine = quick weight gain.
I'm serious. I drank a bottle of wine (over six hours) on New Years Eve and guess what... I woke up 2.5lbs heavier then I was when I went to sleep. Our bodies just don't metabolize the same way they used to. This doesn't just apply to wine either - any high sugar food will stay with you.

4. Women in their 30's become friskier.
According to a study of 827 women in Houston; women in their 30's are in their sexual prime. They attribute this to the slow decline of fertility.

5. You will trade in your dancing shoes for a good night of sleep
It's true. You will reach a point in your life when sleep sounds much better then clubbing. It's not that dancing isn't fun - it IS fun. However, when given the option of dealing with a bunch of drunk people or getting your beauty rest - many times the rest will prevail.

I sure hope that this helps all my fellow sisters who are approaching their late 30's acclimate. Here's to a joyful, more mature but never dull YOU!

1 comment:

Mindy said...

All so, so true (even for a gal in her early 30s like me)! Thank you for the laugh tonight! I'm glad someone else is talking about those horrific, suddenly appearing chin hairs. And the friskiness. Oh, my. Right now, I am pregnant and over 30 and would take sleep at night over a good show, a night out, just about anything!